idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
