38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
