I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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