Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize