i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
