Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I want to fling myself into the sun
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize