woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
