My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Boobs speak an international language.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
