living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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