I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
