If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
