I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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