How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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