I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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