I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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