The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
