but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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