Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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