i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
