The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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