Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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