Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
