508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
