i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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