You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
