U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
