Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
