I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
