I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
