he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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