dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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