I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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