Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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