I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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