who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
