we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
