hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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