Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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