You're a womanizer and a bitch.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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