she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
