my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
