So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
