Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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