I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
third nipple confirmed
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize