The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
