hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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