Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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