I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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