I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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