i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
