if you like me you must not know who I am
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
