if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
handjob tips. give me some.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
