We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize