After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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