Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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