3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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