Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
