You don't have asthma, your pregnant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
