You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who died my cat blue again?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Drunk is a universal language darling
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
