I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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