Porn is love you can see.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
