I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
