the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
