so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
