Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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