I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
